


You allow me to breathe again

by SunhatsForFrogs



Category: One Piece
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Homeless Zoro, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Character Death, Modern AU, No explicit smut, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, POV First Person, Suicidal Thoughts, Zoro and Sanji are idiots, but just for a little while, but might stil hurt lol, dw its not either of them xx, i wrote this back in 2016, modern day AU, not a whole lot of pining, people get hurt, rich kid sanji, sanji has a little sister, sanji has a shit dad, smoker is mentioned, they both go through some STUFF tm, they cuddle your honor, zoro and sanji take care of each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-30
Updated: 2020-12-14
Packaged: 2021-03-09 21:41:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27803239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunhatsForFrogs/pseuds/SunhatsForFrogs
Summary: Zoro is a loner and homeless, but then he runs into the rich kid Sanji. They both struggle with their own issues, but maybe there's a way they can help each other out?
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Kudos: 60





	1. Dawn

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in 2016, and I'm not COMPLETELY sure what happens exactly anymore, but oh wel... Decided to upload it here now, hope you enjoy :)
> 
> (Updates every two days bc it's already finished anyway but I want to spread it out a bit.)

It was dark and I was alone. I was probably lost too, since I ran all the way from the northern district to this place without looking where exactly I was going. But most of all, I was hungry. Sooo hungry. Finding food was the only thing I could think of, so I decided to start looking for some. Thanks to years of experience, I always managed to find the best dumpsters in the neighborhood. This time was no exception. 

_ Got it,  _ I thought, when I saw the sign of a fancy looking restaurant. After a quick look to see if anyone was watching me, I jumped on some barrels and other garbage to get over the fence at the  back  of the restaurant. Within no time I had enough food to get myself through the night and the next morning. 

It was ridiculous what people threw away. Not that I would complain about it. I knew that if it wasn’t for these dumpster treasures I found everyday, I probably would have died a long time ago. I took everything I collected, including a whole bread and some still pretty good looking tomatoes and started searching for a place to sleep this night. 

There were a few spots in the northern district were we, that is to say, the homeless people of the great city of Nash, came together and sometimes I would join them, although I didn’t really like being with other people. However, it was already too late for me to go back north if I wanted to get any sleep this night. It would probably take me seven times longer than it would take other people anyway thanks to my amazing sense of direction… 

There was this bridge I spotted so I decided to cuddle up with myself underneath it. This way, I was at least safe from most of the cold winds that would always blow through the country this time of the year. When I sat as comfortably as possible I ate some of my bread with a couple of the tomatoes. I finished my splendid dinner with a piece of banana that wasn’t even completely brown yet. It didn’t take me a very long time to fall asleep. After all, this was the best meal I had in a week. 

I woke up from the sound of some people shouting. It couldn’t have been more than a couple of hours since I crashed in this bad smelling place. Still half sleeping, I saw three guys coming my way. Judging from the way they walked, barely able to stand on their legs, they were really drunk. 

“Hey you!” yelled one of them. 

I didn’t react, although there wasn’t anyone else around who they could be talking to. I pointed a finger at myself and made a questioning face. 

“Yeah, you, with the strange, green hair. Get the fuck away from OUR sleeping spot!” 

I wasn’t looking for any trouble so I tried to reason with them, although they were assholes… 

“C’mon man, there’s more than enough space for all of us here and it’s like three in the morning. Give a guy some rest okay?” 

“You want to rest kid? Have some rest!” 

While the guy who seemed to be the leader of this stupid gang was still in the middle of that sentence he tried to knock me out by kicking towards my head. I had no problems avoiding his drunken leg though, even while I was stil sitting on the ground and he was towering above me. I quickly got on my feet while Leader was trying not to fall on the ground after having nothing to kick but air. 

_ Guess I’m gonna have to fight my way out of this one…  _

I used a combo move to punch the other two guys and they went KO immediately. More because of the amount of drinks they had than because of the power of my fists. Not that I was a whimp either. When you live on the streets, you’ve got to have some muscles if you’re planning to survive. 

Meanwhile , Leader was back on his feet and tried to hit me again. He missed and I easily knocked him out too. After all that I couldn’t stay there and continue my nap of course. I doubted these three would wake up before me and kill me in my sleep, but you never knew if they still had some friends around. 

I turned to grab my food so I  would have some breakfast but got disappointed big time. Leader had stepped on it during our ‘fight’ and all of it lay mooshed on the ground. 

_ Fuck _ . 

I really felt like beating up these stupid guys who ruined my delicious food some more, but that wouldn’t get me anywhere. 

I took shelter on a cold spot underneath a tree. The only thing I knew for sure was that I wouldn’t get any more sleep that night. I sat through four long, cold and lonely hours underneath my tree and I’m pretty sure I dozed off a couple of times, but I was still broken when the first light came peeking through the trees. That was the moment I decided to try and find myself some breakfast. My stomach was already making the rumbling sound again I knew so well.

Against all odds I somehow managed to find the same restaurant where I got my food yesterday. 

_ Lucky me, there was some really nice stuff in here yesterday!  _

Suddenly, I felt a lot better and I couldn’t help myself but smile. 

I jumped over the fence again, using the same barrels that helped me out the other day and walked towards the dumpster I hadn’t used yet. While I was going through a layer of fuzzy looking vegetables which I defenitely didn’t want try I suddenly heard the sound of the backdoor of the restaurant. 

_ Fuck. Why are they already open? It’s still so early!  _

I didn’t want them to find me here, going through their garbage. Even if they had already thrown it away, they still didn’t want you to have it. If they found me they would immediately take me to the police for sure, and inspector Smoker had already seen more than enough of me this month, so I would probably end up in prison this time. 

I quickly jumped behind my dumpster. It wasn’t even that bad for an improvised hiding spot actually. I heard someone walking out the door and tried to look who disturbed my meal finding activities. 

At first I thought the person I saw was a girl. The long, elegant legs, the golden, angel like hair that covered one eye, the fine features of that face, but then I noticed some slight traces of a beard. It was a dude. While I was still astonished about the fact that a man could look so delicate and beautiful, he lighted a cigarette and looked around. 

“Pretty sure I heared someone back here…” I heard him mumbling to himself. 

“Well, nevermind that. Probably just one of those stray cats looking for an early snack.” 

He emptied his garbage can in one of the other dumpsters and I heared the door open en close. I stood up and stretched for a bit. Not the most comfortable hiding spot I ever came across, though not the most umcomfortable either… I had to get out of here, before they discovered I had been ‘stealing’ from them. Looked like I had to find my breakfast elsewhere, but that’s how those things go. I started walking towards the fence, when suddenly the door opened again and someone scared the hell out off me.


	2. Morning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is from Sanji's POV! Enjoy :)

I sat behind the door and carefully looked if anyone was trying to escape. I was so sure that I heard someone doing… well, I don’t know what people would do in the backplace of our restaurant… Nothing but garbage there. The cats loved it though. 

Anyway, I was sure someone was there, although I didn’t see anyone. That was why I was waiting behind this door at the moment, keeping my head as low as possible. Then I saw a person coming out behind one of our rusty, stinky dumpsters and stretch himself. I opened the door as fast as I could and jumped outside. 

The guy looked scared like hell, which I kind of liked. I had been thinking of all sorts of cool sentences to say to this man that would teach him a lesson, sneaking around our restaurant like this. ‘Don’t move!’ or, ‘That’s far enough buddy!’ 

Instead, the first thing I said was: 

“What the fuck is with the green hair!?” 

I didn’t like my opening sentence, but I didn’t really have the time to think about it and above all, it was just really weird. 

“I mean, what are you doing here? Explain yourself! But answer my first question too!” 

Still not amazing, but it would have to do. The guy seemed to realize now that it was just me and not a whole army waiting to bring him to jail or something (although I wouldn’t mind if that would have been the situation…) and he got some of his confidence back. 

“Ah, and why would I answer any of those questions heh?”

“Because I have seen you now. I could go to the police you know. What you were doing is illegal! You are on private property.” 

Instead of looking afraid, like I expected him to, he started laughing really hard. 

“What’s so funny!?” 

I was starting to get really angry now. 

“It’s funny because you think I’m intimidated by your threat. I have been through a lot worse with the police already and they’re sick of me. They won’t come after me for some minor crime like stealing garbage from a restaurant.” 

That line raised a lot of questions inside me. He said he had been through a lot worse with the police. Did that mean he was a criminal? Secondly, it appeared that he wasn’t just sneaking around to plan a robbery of some kind, like I thought he was. He was trying to steal what layed in our dumpsters. 

Now that I looked closer, I noticed that his shirt, that had probably been white once, was pretty dirty. His shoes should have been replaced by a new pair a long time ago too... 

“Well, I don’t have an unlimited amount of time, like you might have, so I better be going.” 

“Wait!”, I said. 

He looked at me and suddenly I felt really guilty. 

“I thought you were hiding because you were planning to rob us or something…”, I confessed. 

“Well, I wasn’t, so bye.” 

“Wait!” 

He gave me an impatient look. There were quite a lot of things I wanted to say to him but for some reason I couldn’t clear my mind very well, so I just told him the truth. 

“I’m really sorry I thought all these things of you while I didn’t know what you were actually doing. Can I offer you a meal to make it up to you? You look like you can use some breakfast.” 

I liked the surprised look on the man’s face. He definitely hadn’t seen this coming. 

He looked like he didn’t know what to say to that, but after a short moment of hesitation an “Uhm, sure.” came out. 

“Great. Please, come inside. I’m Sanji by the way.” 

“Zoro”, he replied while we shook hands. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to come in?” 

“Absolutely. The owner of this place and my father are good friends, that’s how I got this job, actually.” 

“But also because you’re a cook, I hope.” 

“Yeah, don’t worry. I know how to cook a meal, trust me. Just to be sure, you didn’t… like… kill someone or anything, right?” 

“What? No of course not! I would be in jail if I had done something wrong on that level!” 

“Well, you can’t blame me for asking after saying you have been through a lot with the police! It sounded like they all personally know you there!” 

“Okay, I get it.   
But just for the record, only most of them know me personally…” 

I wasn’t able to tell if he was joking or not, so I decided to ignore his last sentence.

I led him trough the door and into the kitchen, where I told him to wash his hands. 

“So, I really appreciate this,” he started, “don’t get me wrong, but… why? I mean, you didn’t have to. I would’ve been happy if you had just let me go…” 

I was silent for a couple of seconds, and concentrated on soaping my fingers. 

“It’s my duty as a cook. To feed hungry people. I couldn’t just let you walk away with an empty stomach while I have enough food here to give you a proper meal.” 

I looked at him. He didn’t say anything to that, but nodded his head in understanding. 

We walked trough the restaurant and I pointed at one of the tables. 

“Have a seat.” 

“Shouldn’t you be busy opening this place?” Zoro asked while he took place at the table. 

“We won’t open for another two and a half hours, but I’m always really early because I have to make the dough so we can serve our customers fresh baked breads every day.” 

“Wow, I hope they pay you enough to make up for so much time and effort.” 

“Well, actually, I don’t get paid at all.” 

The surprised look on his face was amazing, but I decided to explain myself anyway. 

“We’ve got enough money at home because of my fathers job at the government. He thought working in a good restaurant like this one would be good for developing my cooking skills and get some work experience. Of course, that was before…” 

I didn’t finish my sentence. I was actually having a nice time here with Zoro and I didn’t want to think about it. 

It was just like Zoro perfectly sensed what was going on in my head and instead of asking questions like ‘before what?’ he only said: 

“Well, I can’t wait for you to show me those skills of yours you’ve been developing here.” 

I was glad he changed the subject so easily. 

“Of course,” I said. “Just give me a couple of minutes, I already have some dough ready so you can get some fresh baked croissants if you want.”

I served him his breakfast and enjoyed seeing him eating my food and the surprised look on his face everytime he tried a new dish. 

“It’s all just so… good,” he was saying all the time. 

After he had finished his meal, we cleaned the table together and brought everything back to the kitchen. He stayed and we talked for the next couple of hours while I prepared everything for the rest of the day. He told me that his green hair was because of a weird mutation that had been in his family like forever, and I told him about my little sister Yui and how close we were. 

We talked about our likes and dislikes, weird things like the greatest assholes we ever met or the most stupid thing we ever did to win a bet. Mine was drinking thirty shots of different kinds of drinks within fourty minutes, his was jumping of a bridge at night, during winter. He told me some things about his life on the streets, which he seemed to be dealing with pretty good actually. I told him things about my life too, especially things about Yui, because my best memories were about her. 

We kept the subjects fairly light the whole time. I think both of us didn’t want to ruin the mood by getting too serious. When it was finally time to open up the restaurant and the other cooks and waiters came dripping in one by one, we looked at each other. 

I noticed that this was the first time I would rather do something else than work here and serve my food to the guests. It was just really nice hanging out with Zoro like this and I was afraid that I would never get to see him again if he left now. Nash was a pretty big city after all, and Zoro had already told me about his terrible sense of direction. I made a decision. 

“My shift is over at three PM. Come to the backplace again, so we can hang out some more. If you want. You can also eat dinner at my place toninght, so you don’t have to worry about that. I mean, if you’re free and everything.” 

I said all of that really fast and maybe he didn’t even want to come with me but I was glad I said it anyway. 

“Well, I don’t want to be trouble or anything…” 

“Trust me, you won’t be, I promise.” 

“In that case, I’ll see you at three. Okay?” 

“Definitely!” I smiled and felt great for the rest of my shift.

Tbc.


	3. Noon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Zoro's POV. He and Sanji get to hang out for a little bit. Sanji needs to get something off his chest.

I made sure to stay as close as possible to the restaurant, which I found out was called The Baratie, so I would certainly be able to find my way back to it. I spent my time just walking around, watching some pigeons and thinking about my conversation with Sanji. It wasn’t my first time I had a longer conversation with someone who wasn’t a hobo like me, but Sanji was the first one ever to invite me into his house. 

I felt like, if Sanji and I were to get to know each other a little bit better, we would probably end up having a lot of fights, but also become good friends at the same time. Talking to this guy was pretty easy most of the time and we definitely had some kind of connection. I was looking forward to our ‘date’ this afternoon. 

Time seemed to progress really slowly because I didn’t really have anything to do now that I didn’t have to spend time on finding myself some dinner. I skipped lunch but that was not even worth mentioning. I made sure to be at the backplace at 2.30 and waited there until Sanji came walking out the door. 

“You’re here!” 

He almost sounded surprised. 

“I mean, I’m glad you were able to find it again. Let’s go, right?” 

We walked through a park and talked some more. I can’t really remember the subjects, I only know that I was having the time of my life. He bought me an ice cream, something I hadn’t eaten since I was a kid. He told me his favorite taste was lemon, so I chose that too, since I couldn’t really remember what mine was.

  
  


We headed back to the restaurant around four because Sanji’s car was parked there. We walked across the bridge where I slept this night, if you want to call that sleeping. I noticed too late that Leader and his gang were still hanging around in this place. They didn’t seem less drunk however, although there were five of them now. 

“Hey you! Fucking grasshead!”, started Leader. 

_ Fuck,  _ I thought, and then:  _ I have to come up with better nicknames.  _

“Wha’d you think kid? That we’d just leave you alone after you caught us by supprise one time? We’ll still kick your ass for treating us like that and there’s nothing your pretty boyfriend can do about it!” 

A lot of different emotions went through me. Anger, irritation and a lot more, I couldn’t really indentify all of it. I was about to throw my fists into the faces of these suckers, when I suddenly saw a black flash beside me and before I knew what was happening, Sanji was litterally kicking their asses. 

He was like a black whirlwind of legs with deadly precision. I noticed my mouth was wide open because of my astonishment and I quickly shut it. Within a matter of seconds all five of them were once again unconscious. Sanji’s face was red, just like mine probably was. 

“That, that was…” 

“Hey, don’t mention it, I know I’m awesome.” 

When he saw I was still unable to say something that made any sense he explained: 

“My parents wanted me to be able to defend myself so yeah… and I don’t want to use my hands since I need them to cook.” 

I still didn’t know what to say. There was no way I had expected this from Sanji, so I just nodded my head. Suddenly I looked at him in a different way. He might look like you could easily break him in half, with his thin limbs that suggested he never even so much as tasted the food he made, but apparantly, he was a lot tougher than I first thought. 

We drove to his place in silence mostly. I guess we both had things to think about. When we arrived, Sanji stopped the car. 

“Zoro, before I let you in, there is something I need to tell you.” 

He looked at me. 

“I need to prepare you… for my father. He and my mother raised me well and we were a good family…” 

His expression turned darker. I could see that it was hard for him to continue and put my hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, uhmm… you don’t have to tell me…” 

“No, you deserve to know, and I really have to tell this to  _ someone _ . I can get along easily with most people but it’s somehow just hard for me to let people in and actually make close friends.” 

I knew what he meant all too well. 

“Okay,” I said. “I’ll listen.” 

He nodded. 

“A year ago, my uh- my mother passed away. No one had seen this coming, so you can imagine how shocked we all were. My dad most of all. He and my mother were very happy together, and her death, well, it devastated him. I took care of Yui while he was mourning, waiting for the moment when he would become himself again and we would become a family again, but that never happened.” 

“He started drinking a lot and he is seldom sober. He got in touch with the mafia and I think they’re paying him for political influence, but I also heard him getting threatened once. But, the worst began a month ago. We had a fight, something that never happened before but recently became more frequent. He hit me.” 

Sanji was staring in the distance, while I was listening without interrupting him. He had been keeping all of this to himself and now he needed to let it out. 

“I was glad Yui didn’t see that. She’s only nine years old you know. I don’t think he has ever hit her, so at least I don’t have to worry about that, but then again, I couldn’t imagine he would to that to me either…” 

“So that’s how it is now. I wanted to warn you in case he’s awake, but I don’t think he is, not at this time of the day. And, I also know that you’re probably having a much harder time than me, you don’t even have a guarantee that you’ll have food everyday, but thanks for listening.” 

I put my hand on his shoulder again. 

“Sanji, everyone has to struggle through life in their own way, but just because someone else has problems that are probably bigger, doesn’t mean yours aren’t just as important.” 

He nodded his head. 

“Thanks,” he said softly.

When we entered his house, which was enormous in my opinion, I saw empty bottles laying pretty much everywhere spread through various rooms. I decided to ignore them, it didn’t really bother me anyway, although I saw it made Sanji kinda nervous. 

Suddenly a little girl came running towards us. Her hair was even more gold looking than Sanji’s so I assumed this was his sister Yui. He picked her up and put her on his shoulders. They were having their big brother/little sister moment so I let them be and checked out some of the rooms on my own. 

Everything was very modern and stylish and I couldn’t help gazing at the huge television screen in the living room. Sanji found me while I was checking out the enormous fish tank. 

“I’m gonna start on dinner, so I’ll be in the kitchen. Can you look after Yui for me for a little while? I’m sure you guys will get along.” 

“Sure. If you, want to, I could clean up a little bit… See it as a payback for the ice cream and the meal.” 

“That’s really nice Zoro, but we have a cleaning lady. She’ll be here after dinner.” 

“Okay, then I’ll just do something with Yui, right?” 

Yui was great. I understood why Sanji loved her so much. She was kind, enthusiastic and patient when I didn’t understand something from the game we were playing and I enjoyed myself really well while Sanji was busy in the kitchen.

The three of us had dinner together. I didn’t expect Sanji’s food could amaze me even more after my splendid breakfast, but apparently, I was totally wrong. Everything was just so perfectly balanced with each other. I didn’t say a word while I was eating, but I think it was perfectly clear to Sanji what I thought about his food through my facial expressions and he seemed to like it. 

After we finished our meals we decided to watch a movie, but Yui said she would go to her room so it was just the two of us. I let Sanji pick one and I was actually pretty excited because the last time I properly watched a movie was ages ago. 

The only thing was, I had still slept for only three hours this night and I started to feel it. I didn’t want to sleep at all though. I wanted to see this movie all the way to the end and talk more to Sanji about all different kind of things. It was really nice being able to just sit here with him and not having to worry about my life for a moment. After a while Sanji paused the movie and went searching for some snacks. 

While he was away it became harder and harder for me to keep my eyes open, and eventually I saw everything around me get blurry as my eyes slowly closed.


	4. Midday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Zoro sleeps on the couch, Sanji confronts someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back to Sanji's POV! I had fun re-reading this chapter and remembering what I wrote back in 2016, and I hope you will enjoy it just as much :)

I came back from the kitchen with drinks and snacks on a serving plate, only to find my guest snoring out loud. 

_ That shitty hobo fell asleep while we were only halfway through the movie yet.  _

Still, he seemed really peaceful like that and I almost felt like joining him, but I knew I couldn’t. My father was about to wake up any moment now, and I had to explain my shitty pile of green-haired Zoro on our couch. 

I sighed. 

If he were to continue sleeping in this position, it would be very bad for his muscles. With some slight reluctance I decided to be the good guy and I carefully turned him until he was lying more comfortably. Carefully, to not wake him up, I put a blanket on top of him and made myself comfortable on the other couch. The man didn’t seem to notice any of this. 

_ He must like sleeping a lot. _

I turned the movie back on, because I hated to not be able to see the end. Ends always are the best parts of stories, because one event can still change everything that happened before. I also ate the cheese and potato chips I got, Zoro wouldn’t mind anyway in his current state.

After a little while, I heard someone stumbling down the stairs and I prepared myself for the conversation I was about to have. I walked out the room and saw my father walking to the kitchen. 

“Good evening, father.” 

“Mmm? Oh, hello Sanji. You got any food left from dinner?” 

“I saved a part for you. It’s in the fridge. I can heat it up if you want to.” 

“Yes, I would like that, thank you.” 

While I was busy cooking I tried to think of the best way to tell my father about Zoro, but I couldn’t really come up with one that would make him like it more. I decided to leave away all the details and just stick to the important parts that he absolutely needed to know, and hoped for the best. 

“Father, I need to talk to you,” I said, while serving his plate. 

“First I’ll eat, then we’ll talk, but don’t make it too long. I have things to take care of.” 

I nodded and sat down while he was eating, turning my fingers over each other nervously. I put everything in the dishwasher when he had finished his meal. 

“I met a guy today and we became friends and we wanted to watch a movie but now he’s sleeping on our couch can he please stay for the night.” 

I had the feeling that I was spitting out words again way too fast and I actually wanted to say more still, but this explanation would have to do. I could see my father didn’t like what I said. He was clearly holding back his anger, and I was thankfull for that. 

“Get him out,” he finally said. “I don’t want him here.” 

“If I threw him out now, he would have to spent another night on the streets again. I don’t want to do that to him. He’ll be gone tomorrow. You won’t even notice he’s here, I promise. So please, let him stay tonight.” 

I was holding my breath while I saw my father thinking about what I said. 

Finally, he said: “Okay. But  _ just  _ this one time. And don’t bother me anymore now, I’m going upstairs.” 

I felt relieved and smiled. 

“Thank you, father. You won’t regret this.” 

I took a few deep breaths, glad that this conversation was over.

I walked back to the living room, and finally managed to see the end of my movie. When the aftercredits were done, I didn’t really know what to do next. Could I go to my room and let Zoro sleep here by himself? But I didn’t want him to wake up because he needed to go to the bathroom or something and go roaming the house without knowing where he was going. I could also sleep on the other couch. It was big enough, so maybe that would be a good idea. 

While I was thinking about all of this, I took a good look at the other man. I didn’t want him to catch me staring at him while he was awake, but I really felt the urge to study that green hair of his. I kneeled beside his head and took a look at it. From up close, I could see all the different shades of green that were in it. They would probably look even more beautiful after a shower, but there was nothing I could do about that now. 

Zoro was snoring lightly now, I didn’t think he would wake up if I touched it. 

I carefully went through his hair, from the front to the back, and then from the back to the front. It felt really soft and it was such a nice feeling for my hands and I was scared like hell when Zoro suddenly said: 

“What the fuck are you doing?!” 

Luckily he was still half asleep, which made him speak with a sleepy voice, otherwise he would’ve woken up Yui and have really pissed of my dad with his shouting. I managed to control myself and I didn’t scream, but I jumped three meters backwards and crawled another two while not losing him out of sight to get away from the guy who almost gave me a heartattack. 

“I-I-I’m sorry. I’m really really really sorry!” 

I could feel my face turn redder than red while I was trying to come up with an excuse for my absolutely completely inexplicable behavior. I still didn’t know what to say, and Zoro kept staring at me. 

“Look, I was just…” 

“Forget it, it’s okay.” 

“Really? I-, thanks.” 

I was very relieved and thankful that he could just let this go. I saw that he was already falling back asleep and I quickly said: 

“Zoro, wait! You can rebuild your couch to one that is actually meant to sleep on.” 

Zoro got off his couch very reluctantly, with his blanket still around his shoulders, and as soon as I got it ready to go, he fell back on it. 

_ He must be very tired. That, or he just really really likes sleeping a lot. Maybe both. _

“I’ll also get you some more blankets,” I said. 

I heard Zoro mumbling something incomprehensible back at me, although it could have been something along the lines of ‘stupid cook, messing with my hair’. I went upstairs and changed into my pajamas before I grabbed some blankets and went back. I had decided to sleep on the couch next to Zoro’s, in the living room. 

When I got back, Zoro was already sleeping again. I sighed, but couldn’t help myself from smiling at the same time. When I looked at him sleeping, life just seemed a lot more simple all of a sudden. I put another, thicker blanket on top of him before I lied down on my own couch. 

Suddenly, I felt really tired. I still had some subjects I wanted to think about, but it got harder and harder for me to think of something consistent. 

_ Maybe I can get Zoro a job at the restaurant. Maybe he’s not even that bad at cooking. Maybe… maybe we can keep seeing each other, even though dad doesn’t like him. Maybe… Maybe…  _


	5. Afternoon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji gets Zoro a job!

When I woke up, I was confused, and therefore a little bit scared at first. However, when I noticed how comfortably I was lying, everything came back fast. I decided I liked my bed and I wanted to fall asleep again. 

I could probably sleep forever in this place. I felt so warm and safe here. There had to be some reason I woke up though, and as soon as I thought that, I discovered the other couch. 

Clearly, someone had slept there too, because of all the blankets that were still on it, and that someone was probably Sanji. He wasn’t there now anymore though. 

I got up, rubbed my still sleepy eyes and yawned. I started looking for Sanji and thought that the kitchen would be a good place to start. When I got there, he had already prepared a breakfast that could probably feed fifteen grown men. Or, in this case, one hungry me (and maybe also Sanji and his sister and dad I guess). 

“So you’re finally awake heh, sleepy bedgrasshead.” 

As some form of answer I yawned at him. If someone else had dared to call me grasshead I would immideately have taught them a lesson by punching them or something like that, but I didn’t really mind it when it was Sanji who gave me that nickname. 

His ‘bedhead’ was probably a pretty accurate description of the way I looked right now. He was acting like my fancy opposite or something, showered and already wearing his black waiter outfit  _ which suited him really well _ . 

“Anyway, please, sit down.” 

He smiled. 

“Eat all you want, you’re gonna need your energy today. You’re getting a job.” 

I really thought Sanji had lost it at that moment. I was a homeless, filthy, agressive looking guy with no work experience at all and I knew that and I knew that Sanji knew that I knew so WHAT THE HELL WAS HE THINKING!? 

“Yeah, and what place would be so stupid as to offer  _ me  _ a job?  _ Me… _ ” 

I pointed at my whole self, almost starting to laugh because it sounded even more stupid when I said it out loud myself. 

“The Baratie,” Sanji said, still smiling. 

“If I manage to make you look at least a little bit presentable and if you promise to work hard I’m sure they’ll hire you. We’ve got quite a few people with similar backgrounds, actually.” 

I couldn’t believe what he was saying. Having a job would change my whole world, but I would never be able to get one on my own. He had already done so much for me and was still trying to do more. 

In my eyes, Sanji had some amazing, bright light shining all around him right now. I had no idea what to say. Luckily, my stomachs rumbling sound broke the tension and we both laughed. I felt so relieved that I had someone around me who actually seemed to care about me and who did this for me. 

“Thank you.” 

It was all I could say, but when our eyes met I saw he understood what this meant to me. 

“Just eat for now, okay? I can’t have you eating all the food at the restaurant you know…” 

After we finished our breakfast together Sanji let me take a shower. God that felt good. I let the hot water stream down my body and enjoyed the feeling. I felt so relaxed here, I could probably stay in this shower forever. After a while I got out though. 

I felt like a whole new person, clean and nice smelling as I was now. I didn’t like having to put my own clothes back on, since they were still kinda gross. I stepped out of the bathroom and found Sanji waiting for me outside. He gave me a good look and shook his head. 

“What?” I asked. 

“Well,  _ you  _ look nice and clean now, but I can’t say the same about your  _ outfit _ … I wouldn’t mind lending you some of my own, but they probably wouldn’t fit. Hmmm, I guess there’s only one thing to do.” 

His smile turned kinda evilish and suddenly I didn’t know if I wanted to hear about his plan. 

“I’m taking you to the mall. Let’s go shopping!” 

He was already going downstairs, leaving me startled at the top. 

“Hey! What do you mean?” 

“You heard me. Just shut up and get down already mister Grass Head.” 

“So it’s  _ mister _ Grass Head now?” I said while running downstairs, trying to catch up with the blonde who was already putting on his jacket and grabbing his car keys. 

“From today on, you’ll have to behave like one, so you better get used to the title.” 

And just like that, we were at the mall looking for some new clothes that would fit me. I honestly don’t remember much about it, I just went along with everything Sanji said, not really able to keep up with everything that was happening. 

Curly brow seemed to be happy though. He was smiling all the time while spitting through piles of clothes. 

“You like this, don’t you?” I asked. 

Sanji gave me a surprised look, like he hadn’t expected me to notice how he felt. 

“Well, I just… enjoy spending money to buy stuff for others actually”, he said, looking kinda awkard. “But besides Yui, you’re actually the only one right now I can do such things for…” 

He looked away and started searching through some more clothes. I couldn’t help myself but smile and feel… well, I don’t really know what I felt. I vaguely remembered the feeling from a long time ago, but I couldn’t really place it. It felt good though. 

Eventually Sanji bought me some pants, shirts, socks and all the rest of the stuff I could possibly need. I immediately changed myself in a public restroom and after that we had some lunch. I wasn’t as good as Sanji’s food of course, but I still felt like I was in heaven. 

When I thought about it that way, I realized that Sanji  _ did  _ look a lot like an angel to me. Especially with his hair shining like pure gold and his beautiful smile and WHAT WAS I THINKING?!? I quickly looked down at my plate and began stuffing more food in my mouth and I hoped Sanji didn’t notice the way I had been staring at him.

Just like the rest of the day, my job interview at the Baratie went by in a blur. I was incredibly nervous when a guy with a gigantic mustache asked me some questions and let me promise that I would work my ass off. 

The only thing that stopped me from running away from the place was Sanji’s hand on my shoulder, who stood behind my chair during the interview. I was surprised when they told me I was hired, like Sanji had predicted, and was immediately put to work. 

I actually enjoyed working at the restaurant a whole lot and before I knew it we were closing up already. Everyone went home and Sanji and I stood outside the restaurant, neither of us really knowing what to do next, as Sanji told me his dad didn’t want me in his house anymore. 

“Come with me, Zoro.” He said after a while. 

“But, your father…” I began. 

“I don’t care. I’ll just sneak you into my room, he never comes there. You’ll just stay untill you’ve made enough money to rent a place for your own. We can go to work together and have fun and he never has to find out, right?” 

I smiled at him while he was saying all of that really fast while staring at the ground, like he knew that it sounded too good to be true. I stepped forward and put my arms around him and hugged him tightly. I felt his body stiffen because of the surprise, but then he relaxed and hugged me back. 

“Thank you, Sanji.” 

He didn’t respond, and we just stood there like that for a while. Sanji felt really warm and he smelled so good. After some time we let go and walked to his car. 

“I hope that you know what you’re doing, cook.” I said. 

Sanji laughed. “So do I, trust me.”

We arrived at his place and entered the house. We tried to sneak upstairs to Sanji’s room, but we didn’t even make it halfway there. 

“Sanji! Who is that guy! Shouldn’t you introduce your father!” 

I turned and saw a man walking out of the kitchen. He wasn’t very big or tall, but he seemed like he wasn’t a whimp either. I guess that Sanji got his elecance from his mother, because this guy had none of it. He didn’t have Sanji’s golden hair either, his was just brown with a little bit of grey coming through. He was wearing a fancy suit, although it was full of wrinkles and I also spotted a wine stain. 

“Uhm, good evening father. Excuse me for my rudeness please, I assumed you were asleep.” 

“Well, clearly I am not, so speak up! This better not be the same guy you told me about yesterday, I thought I made my point clear about that.” 

“I’m sorry father, it’s Zoro, who slept here toninght. But I have to say that he has a job at the Baratie now, he’s trying to earn some money so he can get a place of his own and I thought…” 

“Stop it Sanji. I already told you. Out with him.” 

His voice was still calm, but it was as cold as ice and I could feel the anger behind it that the man was clearly trying to hold back. Sanji looked desperate, so I decided to join the conversation. 

“Ah, that’s okay, I was just about to leave anyway.” 

I started walking back to the door. 

“Been a pleasure meeting you, sir.” I said, when I walked past the man. 

I stepped outside and heard Sanji coming after me. 

“Zoro, don’t do this!” He said, when he caught up with me. 

“Listen Sanji, you have done more for me than I could ever dream of. The last thing I want for you is to have a fight with your father over something as stupid as me.” 

I saw that he was about to interrupt me so I quickly went on. 

“It’s okay, really. I can take care of my own, and I’ll see you at work tomorrow, right?” 

“Alright,” he said softly, “but at least sleep in my car then, so you won’t get your sorry ass lost again!” 

I smiled. “With pleasure.” 

I stepped inside the car and made myself comfortable while I saw the cook walking back to the house. Sleep came fast that night, and I dreamed about delicious food that I had never tasted before and a certain, golden haired angel with the prettiest face I had ever seen.


	6. Evening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where shit gets REAL

The following weeks Zoro and I developed some sort of routine for our daily lives. We worked at the Baratie together almost every day. Not that anyone let Zoro actually handle the food, let alone bring the dishes to the right table, but there was still plenty of work to be done. 

Whenever we weren’t working we would just hang out together somewhere. Zoro kept sleeping in my car most of the time, but sometimes, when I was abolutely sure my father was asleep or when he wasn’t home, I would smuggle him into my room. We could talk for hours on end there, although Zoro fell asleep pretty fast every time. 

It felt really good having him there en we got along so well. I noticed I slept way better when the stupid grasshead was lying on a matress on the ground next to me. On such nights, I didn’t have that much nightmares. On such nights, I developed feelings I never knew I had, and it was hard to keep myself from staring at the sleeping man. I wasn’t quite sure what those feelings meant though, so I tried to ignore them as much as I could. 

Since I met Zoro, my whole life had gotten so much better. Of course, all of this was way too good to have lasted this long without anything bad happening, but I ignored the irritating voice in my head and tried to live my days with Zoro to the fullest. It wasn’t long before those sweet days were interrupted violently though…

It happened on a tuesday night. I got home from work earlier that day than expected. I would pick up Zoro as soon as he was done with his shift, but that wouldn’t be before another hour or two, so I decided to take a shower first. 

When I got out I started walking towards the kitchen, planning to make some food for my precious little sister. I got downstairs and saw that my father was talking to some men at the front door of our house. I walked closer to get a better look, but the conversation stopped when I arrived. 

I saw three men standing just outside our house. They wore long, black coats and their eyes looked very unfriendly. My father looked at me. 

“Go away Sanji, I’m handling some business here.” 

His voice sounded extremely tense, alsmost spitting the words out at me.

I knew exactly what kind of ‘business’ he meant. Those guys were definitely mafia that I knew my father had some kind of relation with, although I didn’t know any details. I decided leaving things alone here would indeed be the best option. The tension in the air was almost visible, and I saw tiny drops of sweat on my fathers forehead. 

At that moment, Yui came running out of the kitchen and clamped on to my leg. 

“Sanji! Make me some ice cream!” 

She demanded with an enormous smile. 

“Ehm, just a moment Yui”, I said, while striking her hair. 

She ran towards our father, ignoring the men outside the door. 

“Daddy! Come play with me!” 

My father seemed shocked because of the unexpected interruptions and nervously looked back and forth from the three men to Yui to me and to the men again. 

“Aren’t you a beautiful girl”, one of them said with a voice I didn’t like one bit. He bowed down to here level so he was face to face with her now. Yui stared back at him but didn’t seem to notice that anything was off. 

“So that’s your daddy here huh?” 

The expression on the man’s face changed as his mouth turned upwards into a smile that could only be described as evil. 

“Take this as a warning, old man,” he said, while taking a gun out of his pocket. 

“NO!” 

I screamed, while I was watching the scene that was unfolding before my eyes. 

My father just stood there, with a terrified look on his face while the gun was pointed at his daughter. She looked at me, probably wondering why I yelled, not aware of the danger before her. I tried to move, but my body was frozen. 

I wanted to run towards her and take my precious little sister in my arms and guard her from all evil that could possibly harm her, but I wasn’t able to do anything. I could only watch, while I saw my worst nightmare come true right in front of me. 

“YUI!!!”

  
  
  


-BANG-

  
  
  


No. This couldn’t be. She couldn’t be falling. Her body didn’t hit the ground with the soft sound of flesh against stone. God please god no. I saw everything happen through a blurry slowmotion. The men left. My father kept standing at the door. My sisters body lay by his feet, surprised eyes still focused on me. 

I felt my body starting to move towards them, completely automatically. I knelt beside her little body and took her in my arms. There were no tears. I was screaming like hell internally, but nothing of that was able to come out. I could only stare at her in disbelief, while my hands moved on their own and closed her eyes. 

Finally, my father moved and took a step backwards. I felt that he wasn’t able to look at us, his children, violently ripped apart from each other. 

“Sanji.” 

His voice was utterly cold and emotionless. 

“Clean that up, will you?” 

He started walking away, upstairs, to his office. I couldn’t believe it. Couldn’t believe what I just heard, what he just said. 

_ Sanji. Clean that up, will you.  _

Like she was some spilled soup or something. 

My body was still moving on it’s own. I was unable to control my actions. I would’ve hit my father probably, or something far worse, but in this state, I wasn’t capable at all to do any of such things. I moved through a blur and vaguely remembered carying her carefully to the garden, where I started digging a grave. 

It sounds ridiculous. I couldn’t just put here in the ground here, just like that. Not even an hour after she had left this world. 

I didn’t know what else to do though. 

I took her in my arms one last time, and I wished I could at least spill some tears for her, but that seemed to be impossible. I hugged her tightly before placing her in the cool, dark earth. The earth that didn’t give a shit about the girl that had meant the world to me. Just, like my father, apparently. 

_ Clean. That. Up. _

After I filled the hole again, I layed a flower on top of it. One rose. A white one. Her favorite.

I was still in shock and had no idea what to do next, but I knew that staying at this place would drive my completely insane, so I started walking away from it. The walking changed into running. I was running as fast as I could, and was asking myself where to. 

_ There is only one thing to run to. Zoro.  _

It was the only thing in my mind that made any sense at all and it was the only thing I could think of. 

_ Zoro. Zoro. I need him.  _

I needed him so much and I kept running until I arrived at the Baratie. I bursted through the doors and headed towards the kitchen. Luckily, he was there. I don’t remeber what he was doing, but as soon as he saw me, shaking and trembling, breathless and with panicked eyes, unable to say anything, he looked at our boss. 

“I’m gonna go home a little bit earlier today sir”, he said. 

Zeff gave me a quick look and nodded at Zoro. 

He lifted me up from the ground and into his strong arms. I buried my head in his shirt while he walked us out of the restaurant. 

“Zoro.” I whispered. My voice was trembling and barely noticeable 

“Shh, I’m here Sanji,” he said, while lightly touching my head with his. 

I felt so safe like this. I just wanted to fall asleep in his arms and never wake up again. That way, I wouldn’t have to think about any of the things that just happened. Those horrible things that my mind was still refusing to process.

Zoro walked us to a nearby hotel. We didn’t speak a word all the way, and I was thankful that he didn’t ask me any questions yet, as I was still trying to sort things out in my head. He would need to know soon though. 

At the service desk, I felt him searching my pocket for my ID. He showed it to the person behind the desk, who was suddenly very much willing to give us any room we wanted after reading my name. After all, my father was still a very important figure in the area. 

Zoro took us to a small yet very comfortable room and sat down on the bed, still holding me. He took my head in his hands and looked me in my eyes, until I started to calm down a little and wasn’t breathing as heavily and irregularly as before anymore. 

“What happened, Sanji?” 

Hearing him saying my name with his deep, calm voice helped me clear my head a little. 

“She’s dead,” I said softly. 

It was the only thing that I could get out, but when I said it, it made me actually realise what had happened. And finally, the tears came. I wasn’t able to hold back any of it. Not anymore. I cried like I hadn’t done since I was four years old. The water came gushing out from my eyes and dripped on Zoro’s shirt while I was shaking all over my body. 

He was gently rubbing my back and making soothing noises, trying to comfort me. I was so overwhelmed by all the feelings inside of me. Feelings I realised that had been there all the time, feelings I had never been aware of until now. 

I felt so much anger towards my father, who had just tossed us aside while he was still grieving, giving me so much responsibility when I needed to be comforted so desperately. 

I felt deep sadness for my beloved mother. I cried for her too, because I never had had the chance before. Two of the most important people in the world taken away from me just like that.

I felt shame. I was ashamed of not standing up against my father and telling him that he should take care of us again. Of accepting his unacceptable behavior.

And I felt… love. I looked up and stared into the calm, dark eyes of the grasshead. I had loved him all along, I knew now. I had just ignored those feelings, just like the rest. He looked back at me while I brought my face closer to his. 

I touched his warm lips with mine and when he didn’t resist, I pressed further. While we were kissing I felt warm and complete. It felt so… right. All my other feelings disappeared while we were laying next to each other, him holding me in his arms, his warm body pressed against mine. He was the only thing in my mind, everything around me seemed to be removed from existence. He was the only thing between me and a world filled with chaos.

_ Zoro. _ I thought. 

_ Zoro. _


	7. Midnight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit goes down even harder when Zoro fears he might lose Sanji forever
> 
> Trigger warnings for suicidal thoughts and descriptions of blood and injuries.

I woke up because of the soft, blond hair tickling agaist my nose. I breathed in and enjoyed Sanji’s smell. He was still sleeping, and after everything that happened I didn’t want to wake him up yet, so I just laid there. 

After we made out Sanji told me what had happened exactly. To be honest, my first reaction was to go back to his place and beat some sense into his stupid father, or even those mafia guys who I probably wasn’t gonna find anyway, but I couldn’t. 

Sanji had looked so small and fragile, holding on to me like his life depended on it. I hugged him tightly the whole time, untill we fell asleep. I was glad we had both come out for our feelings towards each other. I had never been in a relationship before, which was probably the reason for not being able to recognize my feelings for the blonde earlier. But hell, I knew it when he started kissing me. I could taste the salt of his tears and realised I never wanted to let him go again and do everything in my power to protect this little piece of human that was mine now. 

Sanji was stirring and pulled me out of my thoughts. I lightly kissed his forhead. I wanted to say ‘goodmorning’, but it wasn’t really such a good morning for him, so I didn’t say anything. 

“Hey,” he said softly. 

His voice sounded a little raspy from al the crying he did last night. 

“Hey”, I said back. 

We looked at each other. The pain I saw in his eyes when he realised everything that had happened wasn’t a bad dream or something, was almost too much for me to bear with. Silent tears made their way down his face again. I pulled him closer and cupped his head with one of my hands, while putting the other on his lower back. 

“Dont worry. I’m here. We’ll get through this.” 

And we did. We took tiny steps and moved forward. We stayed at the hotel until we found an apartment that Sanji could easily afford thanks to the enormous amount of money he had saved up. We moved in there almost immediately. I asked if he didn’t want to go get some stuff from his father’s house. He said that he would try. 

The first time we tried we came as close as a few hundred meters before Sanji got a panic attack, so we headed back to the house. 

“I don’t give a fuck about my clothes or fish or furniture there. I… I just want to get my picture of mom and one of Yui, that’s all…” 

I nodded. 

“Then we’ll get them”, I said. 

The fourth time was the time we succeeded. Sanji’s father wasn’t at home (lucky guy, otherwise I would’ve killed the man), so we grabbed the photo’s and walked outside again. Sanji visited Yui’s grave one more time. 

And then we left everything behind and walked away. He didn’t even want to take his car or anything else, because it reminded him of this life he was trying to move past. A life that he didn’t want to be his anymore. 

After that day, it felt like Sanji and I were finally able to stop this chapter of our lives and begin a whole new one. 

.

I woke up and walked to the bathroom to take that first piss in the morning. I quickly took a shower and when I walked out, I smelled pancakes. 

_ Ah, having a cook as your boyfriend truly is a wonderful thing.  _

I smiled. My life was better than ever now that me and Sanji were really together. 

Waking up next to your other half and getting covered in sweet little kisses before you even open your eyes, going to work together but still giving each other a goodbye kiss when you leave the house, and having your meals prepared by an angel (which had to be the cause for the incredible good taste everytime) who ate them together with you. 

I walked downstairs and entered our kitchen just when Sanji put the pancakes on the table. I stood there silently, watching him put everything in place. He turned at looked at me. 

“What are you standing there for?” he asked, laughing. 

It felt good to see him smile while I knew he still woke up at night because of the nightmares. He would be covered in sweat and I would hug him and whisper that I was there for him and that he would be allright until he would fall back asleep. 

“Nothing”, I answered. “Just trying to decide what I should eat first, you or those deliciously looking pancakes.” 

“Hmm, than how about you take us at the same time?” he said, while giving me a smirk face. 

“Good plan.” 

I walked towards the table and took a pancake from the pile. It was still warm, but not that hot that it would burn him. I laid the pancake on his face, covering his mouth, nose and eyes. I started eating it at the bottom and worked my way up from his neck towards his mouth, biting little pieces off the food everytime. Sanji’s hand searched for mine and I grabbed it while I bit off a piece by his lower lip, kissing him lightly while doing so. Sanji laughed. 

“Shh, be quiet, you’re ruining the moment.” 

“I’m sorry”, he whispered back. 

I took another tiny piece of pancake by his lips, but Sanji had run out of patience. He pulled me in for a decent kiss and then we just had a makeout session on the ground, in front of our breakfast. It felt warm and loving and I treasured every moment of it. 

It was over way too fast, but Sanji insisted that it would be a waste if we let the pancakes grow all cold, so we ate them (the normal way this time). They tasted absolutely amazing, as always, but still not as good as Sanji’s lips. 

After that, Sanji decided to go out and buy some groceries, while I would stay home and clean the house. I turned my favorite music on really loud and began cleaning the kitchen. From there on I worked my way through the entire appartment. I cleaned the living room, our bedroom, the bathroom and the rest of the place. 

When I was done, three hours later, I let myself take a break from all the work. I turned the volume of the music down a bit and got myself some snacks. It wasn’t exactly warm outside but I still settled in our garden, sitting in the grass and watching some birds going in and out of their little houses. I felt kinda sleepy and closed my eyes for a while. 

I was surprised to see that that the sun was already setting by the time I woke up from my nap in our backyard. I must’ve slept longer then I thought. I walked back into the house. 

_ Why didn’t Sanji wake me up?  _ I wondered. 

Maybe he just thought that I needed the rest (because, to be honest, we didn’t sleep that much at night, for various reasons…) but knowing Sanji, he probably would’ve yelled at me for sleeping outside and that I would catch a cold this way. 

“Sanji?” I called. 

No response. 

“Sanji?!” 

He should have been back hours ago from shopping. I checked my phone. No missed calls. No new messages. I tried to call him but got no respond. I searched the house but he really wasn’t at home. 

I started to get worried now. Sanji always let me now if he was even going to be five minutes later than expected. This was nothing like him. I checked the fridge, and it looked exactly the same as it had this morning. 

_ Sanji had never come home after he had left this morning.  _

I was really panicking now. 

_ Shit. What the heck am I supposed to do now?!  _

I decided to call the police, they would know what to do next. 

“ _ Nash Police Department, how can I help you”  _ a calm, female voice was asking from the other end of the line. __

_ “ _ Uhm, my ehm, friend hasn’t come home yet, but he should’ve been back hours ago. It’s getting dark and I’m worried about him.” 

I knew Sanji was able to take care of himself, but it just felt all wrong, and I had learned to highly value my instinct, for it had saved my ass quite some times. 

“ _ Have you tried calling him, sir?”  _

Did this woman think I was stupid or something? 

“Yes, of course, but I can’t seem to reach him.” 

“ _ Okay sir. We don’t set a person as missing before they have been away more than 24 hours, but we’ll keep an eye out for him. Call us again if you haven’t heard anything of him by tomorrow afternoon. Try contact his other friends or family in the meantime, maybe they will know more. What does your friend look like?”  _

“No, you don’t understand! It may be too late tomorrow, I don’t know what happened. We need to start searching now!” 

_ “Sir, a lot of people react like this in the beginning, but most of the time it’s just a misunderstanding. What does he look like?”  _

I was getting angry with this woman that didn’t seem to understand the situation I was in. I sighed. 

“He has really blond hair, almost gold like. He’s pretty tall and wearing dark clothes.” 

_ “Thank you sir, we will inform you if someone sees him.” Click. _

I stared at my phone. 

“He doesn’t have any other friends or family…” I wispered to the device. 

I felt tears starting to burn behind my eyes, but I was able to hold them back. Crying wouldn’t get me any closer to finding Sanji. I looked outside, at the sky that was almost entirely a dark blue by now. I had to find him. I didn’t know how, but I had to find him. 

I would go mad if I stayed here the whole night doing nothing, not knowing where he was, how he was feeling, if he was safe. If the police weren’t going to do anything, I would find him myself. It was just a man, with no sense of direction whatsoever, trying to find another man in a city with over half a million people. Easy, right? 

I decided to start by calling the Baratie. Could be that they had seen him after all. 

“ _ Sorry Zoro,”  _ one of the chefs said. “ _ But Sanji hasn’t been here all day.”  _

Fuck. For some reason I had really hoped that they would have been able to help me. 

“Okay, thanks anyway.” 

So the restaurant knew nothing. It was time to get out. I filled my backpack with some stuff I might need. Water, some food, my wallet, matches and a couple of other things. I took it with me, not only because I didn’t know for how long I was going to search, but also because I wasn’t sure if I would be able to find my way back to the house. I hoped that if I had to, I could just call a cab, but you never knew. 

I wrote a note for Sanji, should he by any chance come back before me, and left it on the table. I went out and locked the door behind me. My plan was to try and get in contact with some of my former “friends” that I had when I lived on the streets. Homeless network was perhaps not the cleanest or nicest smelling of all, but they had eyes and ears spread through the whole city. 

I spend the rest of the night questioning people, paying some of them, buying drinks for others, but in the end, there was only one guy that had seen Sanji today, and that was before he had entered the store.  _ At least he got to the store. I need to know what happened after that. _

I looked up. The sky was already turning from dark blue to grey and orange. I was standing in a park somewhere in the western district. I sat down beneath a tree near me and sighed. All this night I had been looking and I still didn’t know anything. 

I decided to get back to the house for now and get some sleep. There was a tiny spark of hope in me that said that Sanji could be waiting for me there, although I didn’t want to believe it. It would be too painful if I got my hopes up now, only to find an empty house when I got back. 

I sighed and got up. Luckily I found a cab and got safely back home, without having the chance of getting lost. 

The moment I opened the door I knew Sanji wasn’t there. The house just felt… empty, I guess, without him there. I stumbled up the stairs and fell down on our bed. I was so worried and it hurt. 

I grabbed a pillow and pulled it against my stomach. I layed my phone next to me and stared at it while I kept hugging my pillow. Eventually I managed to fall asleep somehow, but my head was filled with fear and I couldn’t stop the nightmares in which Sanji kept dying in front of my. God please, I didn’t want to lose him. He was the best thing that had ever happened to me in my entire life. I couldn’t lose him. 

I screamed and opened my eyes. I sat up straight, scared from the images that had flashed before my eyes a few seconds ago. I noticed that I was breathing heavily and that I was covered in sweat. Then I saw the phone, still next to me. 

I quickly grabbed it and unlocked the screen.  _ Please please please let there be a message, an explanation, something….  _ There was nothing. No new messages. No missed calls. I tried calling his number again, although I didn’t really expect someone to answer it. And no one did. 

_ God. Fuck. FUCK!  _

I was pretty close to crying again, but I didn’t let myself. I would have enough time to cry when Sanji was safely back. 

It was around two PM now, so I decided to call the police again. I got the same woman on the phone as the day before and this time she wrote all the info I got down and said they would go search for him and that they would call me if they found anything out. 

My stomach began making sounds, but I couldn’t find any energy to go downstairs and get myself some food, so I just stayed in bed, staring at the wall, worrying my guts out and trying to think of a way how to solve this shit. 

That’s how I spent the next couple of weeks. I tried to sleep most of the time, but even when I could, I didn’t find any rest. My nightmares were almost scarier than reality. I always woke up sweating all over my body, completely exhausted from the horrors inside my head. 

I barely ate anything and I lost a lot of weight very quickly. I just couldn’t bring myself to go to the store, or walk to the kitchen, or even open up a new pack of milk. The few rare moments were I did actually eat something weren’t that helpful either. I always felt sick and most of the time it came as quickly back out as I got it in. 

When I really felt the need to take a shower, which also wasn’t very often, I would just sit there and let the water fall down on me for sometimes hours and hours. I didn’t go to work anymore either. First, they tried calling me, but I didn’t want to hear them say that they’re so sorry for me, as if… as if he was already dead or something. That thought was way too painful, so I never answered their calls. 

After fourteen days, the police stopped looking for him. After that, the will to keep on living was harder and harder to find for me. But even committing suicide was too much effort, so I just kept on staring, crying, dying inside every day. 

Eventually, the day came were I had completely run out of food. I stared at the empty fridge, turned around to stare at the empty cabinets. I sighed. I decided that I had no other choice than to buy some new stuff now. Either that or die. And I didn’t actually wish to die, although it seemed such an easy solution sometimes. 

I put on a jacket and headed towards the store. When I found myself in a small alley, with some dumpsters and a bunch of stray cats, not even near the place where I should be, I realised that once again in my life, I was completely lost. I sighed and sat on the ground, leaning against the alley wall. 

After an hour or something I wanted to get up, maybe call a cab and head home again, but… what for? 

_ Sanji won’t be there. He probably won’t be there ever again. I want to live, but… is it really worth living, without him in my life? I could die right here, and not a soul in this damn city that would give a shit about it.  _

I was pulled out of my depressive thoughts by the sound of squeeking wheels. A vehicle was stopping way too fast, which caused the sound I heard. A black van stopped at the other side of my alley. A man, dressed all in black, shoved the doors on the side open. He grabbed something out of the van and tossed it on the ground. 

I watched the scene with little interest. The man started dragging whatever came out of the van into the alley and- 

_ Wait… no way…  _

It really looked like… a body… The body didn’t look very alive to me. 

_ Are they here to dump a corpse?! What the fuck?!  _

I quickly hid behind one of the dumpsters. I they found me watching while they were getting rid of evidence of murder or something, they would probably get rid of me too along with the other guy. The guy shoved the body behind another dumpster and quickly got back in the van, which drove away as fast as it could. 

I didn’t hesitate and ran to the body. 

_ If this guy is still alive, he’s gonna need help.  _

I looked behind the dumpster were he was laying and froze. 

_ No. No way. No fucking way no no no no no.  _

I immideately recognized the golden hair on his head, although it was all bloody and dirty now. 

_ Please no. Not him. _ _ Not like this. _

I pulled him to the middle of the alley so I could have a better look at him. 

“Sanji…” I wispered. 

I grabbed his hand and stroke his hair. 

“Please don’t be dead…” 

My voice broke and I started to cry while grabbing his body and pulling it against mine. 

“Please please please don’t be dead…” I cried. 

“Sanji…” 

“Hey, you’re choking me, you stupid grasshead.” 

For a moment, I didn’t know what to do and froze. But then I pulled him closer, crying harder. His voice had sounded so small and weak but oh my god it was his voice! I let go of him for a little bit and stared at him. 

“You look like you’re seeing a ghost.” 

He sounded like he was about to faint any moment. 

“I thought you were one…” I said through my tears. 

“Yeah, don’t worry, I’m not gonna die so easily.” 

He smiled at me and I couldn’t help myself but laugh. God, it felt good to laugh again. After all that had happened, I  _ somehow _ got so lucky as to randomly be at the exact right place at the exact right time to find him again. Not bad for a guy with no sense of direction at all.

_ He’s back. He’s really back and I’m never going to let him go again.  _

“Zoro?” 

“Yeah, Sanji?” 

“Will you please get me to a hospital now? I might have some injuries here and there...” 

I made a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a laugh and kissed his brow. 

“Yeah, I will.” 

I was about to take my phone out of my pocket to call an ambulance when I remembered I left it at home. 

_ Fuck. How am I supposed to get him to a hospital?  _

It didn’t matter. I would just have to find one. I carefully took him in my arms, my chin brushing against his hair, and started to walk. 

“You smell nice”, I heard him say. I kissed the top of his head in response. 

I think he fainted after that, but I held him close and continued to search for the hospital. I walked around like that for a while untill I began to recognize my surroundings. I felt really proud of myself and thought the hospital would be close now. Sanji opened his eyes and looked around him. 

“Zoro, you’re going in the wrong direction…” 

He sighed but also laughed a little bit, which caused him to start coughing. 

I noticed a bit of blood coming from his mouth. 

“We’re… really close to my dad’s place right now.” 

I frowned. I still got angry at the thought of the man. 

“We need help, Zoro…” 

He was right. His father could call an ambulance for us or something. I sighed and tried to clear the anger out of my mind. Sanji’s life was the most important thing in the world to me, and right now I couldn’t think of another solution myself either. 

“Okay, let’s go.” 

Sanji was very specific about how I had to walk so even I couldn’t get lost. Everything still looked the same as the last time we were here. Nothing seemed to have changed. Even his car was still there. 

I carefully put him down on his own legs after he insisted he didn’t want to face his father while being carried around. He was still leaning heavily on me, but he managed to stand. We walked through the front door and I looked around. 

“Who’s there?” A voice shouted. 

Sanji’s dad came walking out of the kitchen. He froze when he saw us. 

“YOU?!” He shouted at us. 

He started walking toward us now and I tensed up. 

“How DARE you come back, after everything you have done to me?” 

His face was turning redder, almost a purple now. 

“Dad, please…” Sanji said softly, his eyes looking pleadingly at the man who had once been his father. 

“You ABANDONED me, you ungrateful piece of SHIT!” 

I was completely frozen while I was watching all of this. I couldn’t believe that this little man was saying all of this to his only son. I felt Sanji shake all over his body beside me. 

“You even got yourself fucking KIDNAPPED, and those idiots expected me to pay MONEY for you?! Well, at least I managed to make clear to them that that was not going to happen.” 

He laughed hard after he said that, looking more than just a bit hysterical. Then his expression turned more serious. His father looked at him and shook his head. 

“But no more. I will have no more of this nonsense. I realise now that I should have done this earlier...” 

I never saw the knife coming. But I did see it sticking out of Sanji’s stomach. I felt him collapse beside me, getting heavier while I was still holding him. His father pulled back slowly, his eyes had gone completely insane now. This man had forgotten how to think straight a long time ago, and he was dangerous. 

He looked at me, but I saw him coming this time. I kicked him hard in the chest and he fell backwards on the ground, trying to catch his breath. That gave me enough time to put Sanji carefully on the ground before I grabbed his father’s hair and smacked his head against the wall. I didn’t know if he was alive after that or just unconscious but I didn’t give a fuck. 

I quickly turned back to sanji, who lay bleeding on the ground. His eyes were closed and blood was streaming from his stomach to the ground. I felt my heart stop. I quickly kneeled down beside him and turned him so he was laying on his back. 

I listened to his chest with my fingers crossed and I couldn’t believe how relieved I felt when I heard the beat of his hart. It was very soft, and slow, but it was there. For now. 

I had to do something about the bleeding before getting him to a hospital as fast as possible. I pulled of my shirt and tied it around the place where he had been stabbed, making it as tight as I could. I carefully picked him up again and grabbed his car keys that were still beside the door, as they had always been. 

Sanji had taught me how to drive a little bit, so I ran to his car, placing Sanji on the backseats of the vehicle. His car had a navigation system, so at least I wouldn’t be able to get lost like this (or so I hoped). 

I was driving like maniac, half because I was way too inexperienced for this shit and half because my boyfriend was dying behind me and I was stressing the fuck out of my mind. I just kept telling myself that I couldn’t think about the consequenses of losing him again, because if I would, I wouldn’t be able to do anything for him anymore and just sit in a corner somewhere and cry. He needed me now more than ever and I was doing everything in my power to save the man that I was planning to grow old with. 

A great worry fell from my shoulders when I finally saw the walls of the hospital appearing in front of me. I parked right in front of the door, took Sanji in my arms and ran inside. The tears were streaming down my face by now, but I didn’t care. 

As soon as I got inside, holding the bleeding man, doctors and nurses came running to us. It was amazing how fast they got a bed ready. I carefully put Sanji on it and they took him away immediately. I was told to wait here until someone would come and write down the information about Sanji and me. 

They were saying a lot of things, but I couldn’t really make out the words. I was looking at my hands, sticky and red with Sanji’s blood. They were trembling, but I couldn’t stop them from doing so, so I just let it be. Someone gently pushed me down in a chair and pressed a cup of water in my hands. The person patted my back a few times and said something, I don’t know what. 

I just sat there. 

Hoping. 

Praying. 

_ Please don’t let him die. Please Sanji. Don’t be dead. Don’t be dead, please. Don’t die. I need you.  _

_ Sanji.  _

_ I love you... _


	8. Dawn again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sanji opens his eyes again.
> 
> TW for mentions of torture (briefly)

_ It hurts… _

Pain. 

It was the first thing that managed to surface out of the black, blurry haziness that was my consciousness at the moment. I wanted to open my eyes, but they were so heavy. Sooo heavy. It was just too much effort for me right now, so I gave up on that. 

I decided that just lying down like this was the best decision for the moment being. Breathing was enough trouble on it’s own, or so it seemed. I was just breathing. In and out. And again. For now, that was more than enough. The blackness that surrounded me was really comforting. It was quiet and dark, just what I needed. 

_ Fuck.  _

There it was again, the pain that was coming from somewhere. It was hard for me to locate it, as I was barely aware of my own body. It made me want to open my eyes again, but I failed. Again. What was I doing here anyway? It suddenly appeared to me that this wasn’t my daily state of living. What caused this half-consciousness of mine, this pain. All of this thinking made me tired, and the blackness was about to swallow me back, when everything came back to me in a flash. 

The man. There had been a man in a long black coat. And he had kidnapped me! Suddenly I remembered it. Those awful weeks. Getting locked up in some guys basement after being tossed in a van. And then the worst began. Days after days after days of torturing. 

I lost any notice of time down there, but they always managed to make the next session more painful than the one before. Sometimes they would record it when they were working on me. It was absolutely terrifying, not knowing what was going to happen next. 

I was about to faint, letting the black, fuzzy clouds around my consciousness consume me again. That way I didn’t have to think about that awfull time. I couldn’t believe how I survived that shit. 

_ Wait.  _

Did I even survive it? Or was I still there? Where they waiting for me to wake up, so they could continue to torture me? Panic seemed to be taking over my thoughts, and even my breathing didn’t seem to work that well anymore now, but then another memory popped up. 

Two strong, tanned arms, holding me. Picking me up. Carrying me. I would always feel safe in those arms. I managed to calm down a little. And then, finally, the rest came back too. 

_ Zoro!  _

He had been there. God knows how but he had been there and he had saved me. I felt like I was close to crying but that was never gonna work if I couldn’t even open my fucking eyes. 

_ Zoro.  _

God, how much I loved that guy. He had saved me, tried to bring me to a hospital. Of course that didn’t work out, but he tried. 

_ Dad… _

I felt so sorry for that man, and I was so absolutely done with him. I guess a part of me still wanted to forget about his behaviour after Yui was killed. After all, he was still my father. I felt nothing of that anymore. It was over. Whatever relationship we had left, was over after he put a fucking knife in my stomach. 

Of course. That was where the pain was coming from. To be honest, I felt like my whole being was aching at this moment, but there was one spot that hurt the most, so I decided that that was the place where my stomach should be. 

Having caught up with my story, I felt really relieved. The blackness was sort of falling away now too. I had to see him. I had to let him know that I was still alive. Zoro was probably worried sick about me. 

Finally, I was able to open my eyes. Not too far, but enough to get a look at my surroundings. At first, I was a little bit blinded by the light, although it was warm and natural, coming from a big window on my right side. I was lying on a white bed, in a white room. Some small tubes were sticking out of me and most parts of my body were covered in bandages. Seemed like Zoro managed to get me to a hospital after all. 

With some effort, I turned my head just enough to get a better look at the left side of my bed. There he was. He was sitting in a chair, but his upper body was restin on my bed, and he was snoring loudly. I smiled and felt a single tear running across my face. 

I forced my left arm and hand to move, which was incredibly difficult, so I could touch his hair. I stroked it up and down untill he started to move underneath my fingers. He raised his head, still looking all sleepy. He blinked a few times and I smiled at him. Finally, he seemed to realise what was going on. 

“Sanji…” He managed to get out, before he started crying uncontrollably. 

He crawled on my bed and hugged me so tightly I really thought that I would pass out again for a moment. It really hurt actully, but I didn’t give a fuck. I was back. I still couldn’t move properly, so I wasn’t able to hug him back, but it didn’t matter. Suddenly, I noticed I was crying too. We layed there for a while together, with the sun setting outside. The light shined on our bodies, and it was perfect. This was good. 

Of course, there would be more trouble. This was life. There would always be bad times. 

But we would handle it. Somehow. 

We had each other. And that was all we really needed. 

That was more than enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you made it to the end of this fic, thank you so much! I hope you enjoyed reading it :) If you did, please leave a comment and kudo's, it would make my day :D


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